When kids get angry and so do you

Understanding emotional meltdowns

You say “no more screens,” and suddenly it’s chaos. It’s natural to feel frustrated-even angry. But your child isn’t trying to upset you. They’re overwhelmed too.

Why we react?

  • You’re drained, overstimulated, or distracted
  • You feel guilty about using screens earlier
  • You’re rushing or multitasking when the meltdown happens

What helps?

  • Pause and breathe: Count to 4, inhale. Count to 6, exhale.
  • Label their feelings: “You’re disappointed because you want more.”
  • Stay calm but firm: “We’re done for today. Let’s go choose a puzzle.”

Your calm helps co-regulate their storm.

Teaching emotional skills

Use moments of screen frustration to build lifelong tools:

Express through play or art

“You look disappointed. Want to draw a picture of the part you liked best?”

“Let’s act out your favorite character with these toys while we calm down.”

“Want to tell me the story of what just happened in your show? I’ll write it down!”

Acknowledge + offer coping tools​

“You’re feeling big feelings. Let’s breathe in like we’re smelling cookies, and out like we’re blowing on hot soup.”

“Your heart feels heavy because you wanted more. That’s okay. Let’s put that feeling into a hug.”

“I see you’re really upset. Would squeezing this pillow help your body feel better?”

Normalize feelings + Hold boundaries

“It’s hard when fun things end. But we always stop after one episode.”

“Even grown-ups feel grumpy when something fun ends. It’s okay to feel it - we still follow the rule.”

“You can be mad and we can still clean up together.”

Build self-awareness over time

“Where do you feel mad in your body? Your tummy? Your fists?”

“Let’s name that feeling: is it angry, frustrated, or sad?”

“Next time, do you think we could try using your calm-down jar when the show ends?”

You don’t need to be perfect. Just present.

Positive discipline around screens

Discipline isn’t about punishment – it’s about teaching your child how to navigate limits with understanding, trust, and consistency.

Don’t make screens the enemy

Avoid using screens as rewards or punishments:

  • “If you behave, you get the iPad” → screens become a prize
  • “No more TV for a week!” → creates resentment and power struggles

Instead, treat screens as a neutral part of life with predictable rules.

How to set boundaries that stick

  • Keep them simple: “One show after lunch.”
  • Repeat often. Make them visual if needed.
  • Stay consistent – even when your child pushes back.

Everyday scripts that can help

Empathetic + Firm

“You wish we could keep watching. I get that. But screen time is over.”

“I know it’s hard to stop. We’ll do something else now - and you can try again tomorrow.”

“You’re upset, and that makes sense. But our screen time is finished.”

Holding the limit without harshness

“We don’t watch more, even when it’s hard. Let’s move on together.”

“You can ask again, but the answer is still no.”

“I won’t change my mind - but I’ll sit with you while you feel sad about it.”

Redirecting with choices

“Would you rather help me with the laundry or build a tower?”

“It’s time to turn it off. Do you want to push the power button or should I?”

“We’re done watching. Want to pick a book or draw a picture about your show?”

Staying calm during pushback

“I see that you’re really mad. I’m staying calm. We can get through this.”

“It’s okay to be upset. I’m still here, and the rule hasn’t changed.”

“Even when you yell, the answer is no. But I’ll help you feel better.”

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